are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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