Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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