Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just cropdusted the office
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
