I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
