Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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