Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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