Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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