why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
