these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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