Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
