Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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