"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
