he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
