But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
