White coat. Heels.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
