Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
