i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My balls are so social today.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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