I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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