you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
