After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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