super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
