The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
