everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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