I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
