I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
