i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
