and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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