oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
