1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
