now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
