Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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