VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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