...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
