I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i dont even know how to be here
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
