Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
