A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
