i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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