i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
