let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
