Michael Bay diarrhea
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
