You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize
