he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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