So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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