i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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