thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
