Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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