im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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