Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
