You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
