Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
