Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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