i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
